8 February 2012, 8:06 am
I just been trying to figure my life out. Nostalgic. Things have gone by so fast and sorting them out has been a need for a long time, but I was listening to what other people said. They kept telling me to move on and live your life, but the more I live and try to forget the sh•t I've been through, the pain always comes back like a curse, never really leaving and always reminding me. I'm seeking therapy, being diagnosed with depression. People close tell me to live life to the fullest and that I need to sleep around but that's the thing causing me the most pain. It's related to my history and what I don't want right now. Besides I want it to be sacred. One of them gave me the impression that they felt they found the perfect job for me that involved no communication, cleaning, and not being bothered by people. Truth is that I need to be around people but I don't want to say anything but I do like to listen and learn. Funny thing, I use to talk non stop to my old buddies back then, but they left and I made new ones. I prefer not to talk right now, with my new buddies, because our views of life are different. Before I tried to compromise but now I feel like a joke, living my life in a lie and that's why I need to sort things out by myself. I talk when the feelings right and not when I'm being pressured for that just causes resentment. I smile a lot though and I really like that about myself. Is it really wrong to keep to myself around the people I live with that are also friends. I mean, I will say a "hello" if one walks by but im not feeling the vibe for sex and that tingly sensation is all that seems to matter along with vanity it all seems superficial. I love them still but I need to sort my mind. I'm 24.... Read More »
Share on del.icio.us
Share on digg
Share on Technorati
Share on reddit
Share on Yahoo!
Share on Facebook